Day 1 - Post Op!!

Well, here I am on the other side! I'm laying here on my bed and feeling a bit battered and bruised but relieved its all done and the exciting stuff can start now!

Everyone was so lovely and supportive at the hospital and made the experience as emotionally painless as possible, however I sadly had lots of trouble with pain - but that was from my hip and back (as usual) and not the op site at all!! How typical, but I suppose that just confirms to me the reason I went to get the band done in the first place!!

                          The sign on my door made me chuckle....I didnt want to eat anyway!

I walked down to theatre, lay down, chatted to them for a while as they preped me, then next minute I know I'm waking up in recovery.  I was very chilly and was wrapped in space blankets, but I always respond to ops in this way.  The first thing I did was cry... I couldnt explain to her why, as my lips weren't working properly yet (and its hard to talk when your teeth are chattering away).  All I thought was, oh my goodness, its all done and I'm a step nearer to being without pain..... and it made me blub! But it was a happy kind of crying, so that doesnt really matter.



It didnt take me long to get up and walking once they got the drip out of my hand, and I was surprised how my tummy didnt really hurt.  When I looked at the war zone I saw lots of plasters and thought that he had had to do the standard procedure, but when I chatted to him after, he said that he had completed the whole procedure through the one incision in my belly buton! Fab!! The rest of the plasters actually cover holes where they inserted needles.  This should not only mean less scarring but also quicker healing.  I think I love Professor Favretti :0)

                              The plasters I am left with today... can take them off after 10 days.

I was the last person to be operated on yesterday as they didnt expect me to have any complications.. and they were right. I came out of theatre at 5ish... and walked out the hospital today at 11am.... Fantastic.  I wish I didnt live so far away from the hospital, as I found the journey on the train a bit harrowing and painful, but hey, at least I'm back in my own bed now.

Had my little bowl of clear soup tonight (which took me 45mins to sip down!).  Then took my mix of painkillers, multi vits and crushed tablets... mmmmm  Now I'm off to bed, its just been so emotional!

Night Night x

2 Days Until Op Day!!

Ok, getting a bit nervous now.  It's so close and now it feels very real. Just been planning how to get there (Kent to Manchester is not the easiest journey).  I can fly up, but have to come back on the train, as I cant fly so soon after surgery as the air in my stomach would obviosly expand in the plane and could cause problems with the band.

Feeling a bit tired today, wonder if its because of the very light Pre-op diet I'm on?  Must be working though as the scales say I am loosing weight. (My boyfriends scales say I have lost 10 pounds since I started the diet last week, but I will wait until I stand on my own scales before I believe that).  The nurse called yesterday to check that I was ready for the weekend. She said that the weight I had lost was probably mainly from water.  I dont mind though, at least this means that I should have made my liver smaller for the op.

So..... two more days of the diet, then from Saturday evening, no more food and drink.  I check into the hospital on Sunday morning, then I'm out Monday morning! Seems awfully quick, but I guess thats a good thing.  Then my new life starts... scary, but very exciting! Probably wont make my next posting on here until after the op. Wish me luck! x

5 Days until Lap Day!!

Well 5 days into the pre-op diet and 5 days until the operation. Feeling a bit stressed and anxious today. Guess its alot to take onboard, but wish I could just relax a little.  I have been reading all the info on the operation and the after-op advice.

Was reading about the importance of eating a well balanced meal. Of course my stomach will be so tiny that the quality of the food is more important. I'm going to really be careful about what I put in my mouth!  Apparently if you don't consume enough protein, then you can become protein deficient which can lead to hair loss, fatigue, muscle weakness, depression, anxiety, headache, low blood pressure and irregular heart rate.... Scary!

I can see how my eating is emotional... I felt a bit stressed yesterday and thought about having a sandwich or a meal before the op at the weekend, a bit like a final meal before my new stomach. When I thought about it though, it seemed silly. The pre-op diet is as much about a new start as the band is, so I'm sticking to the diet. If I give in to temptation I'm only cheating myself.... a cliche but very true.

Operation Date!!!

Oh my goodness what a busy few days!!! I went up to see the Surgeon and the team to see if they would accept me for the surgery, and they will! They were all so lovely and reassuring, I'm so very excited (and a little nervous).  They explained everything so well, and made sure that all my questions (and my Step-mums) were answered. When they looked at my medical history they said that I should respond really well to this and that it would change my life.

I have to say, that thinking of a life without pain (or a lot less pain) is quite emotional for me. I cant imagine not having pain in my hips, back and knees... YAY!!!

They Weighed me and I am 15 stone 4 Lbs and 162cm high which makes my BMI 36.7
The machine I stepped on also told me my persentage fat...(drum roll please....) 48%!!!!
Quite an eye opener for me I can tell you. Apparently for my age and height between 21-33% fat is acceptable, so maybe not as bad as it sounds. 

I started my pre-op diet the next day. They said that most people with them do a 5 day diet, but if Iwas happy then 10 days will obviously be more helpful. Its actually not too bad. I have 2 shakes for breakfast, a soup for lunch a shake for tea, soup again for dinner then another shake for supper. In between I have to have 5 portions of steamed veg or soft fruit, as well as 1 1/2 litres water.  They said it helps to reduce the liver size which helps the surgeon as he has to move it to one side to get to the stomach! Aswell as this, it helps you get used to the liquid diet that your on after the op.

I'm so excited to have the future to look forward to - a thinner me with less pain, but peoples reactions are making it quite difficult for me. I wish everyone could be happy for me. They have seen me struggle with the pain, the constant hospital visits, the never ending diets and the tears. Why then do people have so much trouble with this?  Its obviously still one of those subjects that people are uncomfortable with. I got asked yesterday how I felt about not eating again... which made me chuckle. It's not that I wont eat again, obviously, but I wont be stuffing myself with plate fulls of roast, chips, steak, cakes and crisps, IN ONE SITTING!!  Food is not what you live for (I understand that now) It is what helps you live, but it shouldnt be the reason for getting up. I know now that the quality of life is the important thing and quality not quantity.

Now, off to get my shake :-)

People's Reactions....

I have been so surprised and upset by peoples reactions.  It has not been an easy decision to get to this point, but I had not actually considered how peoples views and opinions would effect me.

My Step-mums reaction is a completely supportive one. She has watched my pain and struggles and feels that this is now my only option and she has been planning how she can help and support me in whatever way she can. So fantastic!

My Dads view was "just stop eating so much!".  Not the most helpful thing to say... But now that we have all discussed it further he can now understand a little more and is supportive.

My Boyfriend was very negative and it took me a while to mop up the tears... He said that I should just eat less and exercise more. Then told me about calories and food types (like I dont know after my many years of diets and stuff).  In the end he said I should do what I felt was right and listen to the Specialist, which I of course will.

Four of my girlfriends which I told have been really supportive, although initially shocked.  I have had the usual responses of "you dont need to loose weight" and "your not big enough for that" and my absolute favourite buy my Gran of "But you just have heavy bones!" Bless....  However nice everyone is trying to be I have just had to be quite direct with them, and I just say that No, I dont have heavy bones, I have heavy fat. Yes I am heavy enough as I have a BMI of 38! And yes I need to loose about 6 stone! I am fat and have eaten too much for most of my life.

The reactions of people have made me quite hesitant to tell my other friends, and yet I dont want to be in the situation that Fern Britton was where she was attacked from every side....

The Decision

Phew..... this is such an emotive subject to discuss, but it is because it is so exhausting that I feel I need to write it all here. I cant believe I am the only person going through this, and I know that it would make me feel better if I knew others were going through this too...

I find myself at a junction in my life. I seem to have always been battling. I was born with Congenital Hip Displacement, which meant that my left hip (socket and ball) had not formed properly. I had my legs in traction as a young child, as well as many designs of plaster casts, and 4 operations. I have always had the pain, I have always had to fight to be allowed to do the things all the other children did.... And I have always been fighting with my weight.

My story, in this respect, probably echo's many other peoples stories. I needed to loose weight. You name it, I have tried it. Visits to the Dietician, Weight Watchers, Slimmers World, appetite suppressants, Orlistat, Atkins, Cabbage soup Diet, boot camps, Counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Personal Trainers...

I'm a classic YoYo dieter. But now its critical. My Pain in my back and joints is so bad now that I'm on daily anti-inflamatory drugs and pain killers. My hip requires a hip replacement and after recent surgery on my knee walking has become difficult.... and I'm 31 years old! The specialists for my hip and knee both say I need to loose weight (about 6 stone to get into a 'healthy' zone). How do you loose 6 stone?!?! I have managed to loose weight before, but generally through excercise, which I obviously cannot do at present.

I had thought about surgery before but always dismissed it. However, my Mum suggested it and I started to look into it seriously. I started researching and contacted a hospital in London that carried iut Lap Band surgery. I have had many in depth phone calls with them and feel assured by them, so I'm going to see the Surgeon on Wednesday for a consult.

Wish me luck